Esther Day: Just A LOT Late

(Picture: Me a few days before Esther Day 2014 at Leakycon. Photo Cred: Esther's rockin' mom)

When Esther day rolls around every year, my jawbreaker of a heart turns to goo. I confess how much I platonically love my friends and how much love I have for my family. It's rare for people to see me this way, weepy and appreciative of the people around me. Call me stone cold, but I learned somewhere along the way that this wasn't how you have friends. You joke to show your affection, call them things like Nerds and poke fun at them. You show your affection through kind acts like having heart to hearts at odd hours of the morning or helping them with something they are struggling with, or even listening while they complain. This affection though doesn't quite portray the words that go through my mind when I think of my pals, the best friends that are always there for me.

I haven't always been this way of course, as a kid, I feel like we all were much more open about the way we feel. Calling out who our best friends were without fear someone would be left out, or simply confessing the affection you hold for a friend. After all, the idea that we do these things for our lovers but not the people who often hold us up or raise us? That's absurd. Somewhere along the lines, though, social norms tell us that it's weird to do this. That it's clingy or perhaps shows weakness.

That's why Esther day exists. If you do not know, Esther Day is an unofficial holiday celebrated on August 3rd in honor of Esther Earl, a girl who died of cancer in 2010. Esther was a part of a community I hold close to my heart, Leaky/Geekycon, where she had met John Green (Author and Youtuber) who started the day in her honor. Each year, hundreds of people participate, telling their friends and family that they love them. You can read more about Esther's Life in her words in "This Star Won't Go Out" and can donate to her charity by the same name at http://www.tswgo.org/

This year marked my fourth Esther day, the previous two I had spent them amongst a community of people that she had so greatly impacted at Leaky/Geekycon, this year was different, though. I was unable to go to the con, which meant that my days leading up to Esther day were not filled with that same enthusiasm and love I had experienced. I was not as prepared as I typically was and personally, after shining tiny flashlights for her at midnight at the Esther Earl annual charity ball in 2014 and being amongst those same people for an entire weekend before the date in 2015, I felt like this year was a cop out. I told my friends I love them in texts and a million heart emojis. But it didn't feel right. Something about the day was off, and I couldn't place what it was.

That was until last night, laying in bed after seeing my best friend for the first time in three months as the summer has come to a close it hit me that I didn't say what I needed to. Yes, I told my friends that I loved them, but I felt like I needed to take things a step further. I needed to tell them how much they mean to me; I needed them to know what they have done in my life and, in the wise words of Galinda and Elphaba, how they have changed me for good. So I began to write them letters. One to each of them averaging 250-500 words. If I would have taken more time, I could have probably written a novel for each of them.

Though I won't post those letters, as they are personal. I encourage you to look at the people in your life, whether it is Esther Day or January 26th, and tell them how much they mean to you. After all, as Esther proved, some of the most important people aren't the ones we celebrate on Valentine's day, they are the ones we forget to celebrate every other day of the year.

Happy (super belated) Esther day.